Art of Negotiation

Notes from a forum a while back. I thought they were worth sharing

Persuasion - two ideas - convincing them you are right or convincing them your idea is a win for them (Though don't overestimate your knowledge of the other persons goals...)

Break the ice question: "What keeps you up at night?"


  • In short, to be successful, you have to make an effort to get inside the other persons head
  • Think about who the other person has to lose and who they have to please 
  • Determine what success and failure mean to the other person
  • Deposit in the "trust bank"- make a good faith effort. ' and remind them "That's what friends do for each other"
  • Remember the value of reciprocity - people like to repay favors



  • Don't be emotional, step away if necessary 
  • Just listen - "at what point did I ask you for advice?"
  • There are times to shut up and listen and times to fix things 
  • Don't be afraid of "no" - just ask 
  • Establish your physical presence (don't be too passive) 
  • Raise up your chair, spread your arms, use strong (but not agressive) body langugae)      
  • Last, Best and Final.... Low ball, get better, then give the real offer... 
  • You have to be able to give something or people will doubt your sincerity 
  • Negotiate in person, not over email if possible. Body language is lost. Tone is lost. 
  • Sarcasm can explode into nastiness. 
  • If the range of outcomes shifts - redefine victory.