I guess I should have prefaced my last few posts with a recent revelation. I noticed that many of my stated values (frugality (not eating out, shopping at thrift stores, dumpster diving), environmental friendliness, my desire to live very lightly (this includes things like growing some of my own food and traveling by bike) were often compromised in the face of social situations which call for different behavior (and tacit agreement with a much different way of life). One I verbalized this on the way to class one day, I began to be much more critical about the things I did with others and in the way my own lifestyle was at the whim of the desires of others. There is a famous passage by Thoreau at the beginning of Walden "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion" Well, I have been thinking quite deliberately for some time, but it is clear my life has not reflected this in all aspects. The point is that I spend far too much time thinking (and often value the idea over anything else) more than I actually value the practice. I want to live as honestly and deliberately as possible.