Hubris, before the fall

I am not who I pretend I am
I am unemployed right now
I live off of unemployment checks
I told my girlfriend goodbye
because I wanted her to change
but in the end I was the one who was dumped
because I was mean to her
I couldn't see her needs
I couldn't see what she wanted
She formed another relationship
and then lied to me about it
I felt liked a loser
but I can't get mad
because I did the same thing
I was really depressed for about 6 months
I acted really angry
and I guess I was, because I had lost control
but I was sad more than anything
confused too
I cried a lot
I stayed in bed all day for a long time
Then, I think I went crazy
manic is a better word
trying to forget
trying to prove something
one last shot to hold on
but I had to let go
I was breaking
crumbling
at least my image was
and for the first time
I remembered when I built my shell
and what caused it
and now, just as I think I am becoming a man
I have to go back to being a little guy
and start all over