Work hard, play hard

   We broke ground on the community garden. It's tough work. I can't imagine doing that shit with a donkey and a plow, much less a hoe and a pick axe.  I cut down a tree and found we had made three baby squirrels homeless. Marvin, the community association president has really impressed me. He's done a lot of behind the scenes work to make all of these little projects happen. Contacting boy scouts, local schools, churches... He even got a buddy of his, who is a teacher at the local tech center, to get his class to build us a tool shed.  He's had to deal with the city to get clearance to use to adjacent lots. He even contacted the Clemson Extension to get them to select the best lots and evaluate soil quality. I definitely learned the benefit of teamwork in this whole process. I never valued it before. I liken it a lot to wikipedia. Everyone just does what interests them or what they are good at (editing, adding content, finding images) and it all gels into something much greater.

I worked so hard on this thing my fingers started cramping.

     That morning I went around to all the vacant lots I noticed last week during the cleanup. I scavenged some flowers I saw that were just going to get mowed over as summer progresses. I guess that is technically stealing, but my conscience doesn't feel too guilty. I think the flowers were ready for a new home.

     After the ground breaking, I went back to the coast for a Widespread Panic concert at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach. Pot. Head. Convention. Entertaining though. Those guys rocked it out forover 4 hours. For three nights in a row. I rode around with my friend Cory who's on the track that I left last year. He's working in finance in Charlotte. He's quite a lot like me actually... USC grad, grew up in a small town, on a farm, distant relationship with dad. Anyway, he's doing what most guys would do. Buy a BMW, buy a nice condo, dress a certain way, buy expensive sunglasses, take vacations to places like Iceland and Norway. I still don't know if a care for his life though - he doesn't have a lot of free time, and it's such a rat race to compete with everyone else so you end up blowing a lot of what you make. He does have the freedom to do what he wants on the weekends though. It's strange how everyone goes in with such different perspectives and then ends up exactly the same. Granite counter tops, italian leather loafers, iPhones. I think it might be bearable if I had time to work on making new friends outside of work, but I think that was the nail in the coffin. My universe kept shrinking as my bank account grew. Maybe it was because I was in CT. I wonder if it had been different if I was in a city of yuppies (like Charlotte) or in a major city like NYC or Boston.

I found the word that describes the way I have been feeling lately: Blase. It's ironically a synonym for sophisticated. Sometimes I feel words over insights into life I wouldn't have had otherwise. I'll post the definitions for both below.

Sophisticated: deprived of native or orginal simplicity
Blase: apathetic to pleasure of excitement as a result of excessive indulgence or enjoyment

That might not be it though. It might just be a lack of purpose or the simple fact that I haven't had to work for anything. It's all been given to me lately. I'm trying to put my finger on it.